It was a cathartic exercise that now completed really has put a full stop to any regrets or confusion I faced in my early years. I really recommend writing for coming to terms with anything that troubles you.
I really look at the past and the present/future as two distinct halves that show a resilience and a resignation as opposed to promise and freedom and I couldn't be more grateful for the way my life has evolved.
Tony Robbins makes a good point when he states that any past bitterness or pain only serves to make you the person you are today and should be relished as a positive thing. I couldn't agree more - I guess it's like that old adage - that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger and in my case - happier, wiser and more grateful.
The second part of my life really begins with my greatest 'achievement' - my children.
I've decided to document the second part of my memoirs in my blog as it is way more positive and hopefully more 'share' worthy 😀
I was so blessed to be able to have children and more importantly start a family.
The universe must have agreed as my combined labours were 13 hours and I was my happiest, healthiest and most glowing as a pregnant woman.
The excitement when I discovered I was pregnant with Ben.
Living in Dampier, pregnancy was effortless and marked by teaching in Karratha and watching weekend sport in Dampier.
I ran in those days - or what I loosely call running.
The popular route was the circumference of the township and I ran it regularly - Little wonder Ben now has no tolerance for cardio exercise as summer days in the Pilbara were hot.
I sailed through the pregnancy, spending balmy days enjoying the calm North west laid back atmosphere, careful to eat well and just bask in the glory of being pregnant because as all Mums know - you really feel like you are a special person when you carry a new life.
I remember trips to Dr Jumeaux who always remarked I had no medical history and so visits were simply an opportunity to check the baby's progress.
Nine months passed. 3rd January came and went and threatened with the baby being induced ten days later I was in my way to Nickel Bay hospital in labour.
Dr Jumeaux was in surgery but I was told that I would take hours before I was fully dilated.
I declined the offer of pain control as I thought that if I was to be in labour for hours I should hold out for as long as possible.
Armed with Dad who spent the time watching television and the odd passing nurse who kept assuring me I had hours to go - I laid in bed , breathed and watched Wally Masur play in the Australian Open.
Well clearly already late Ben would wait no longer. Dr Jumeaux was still in surgery and so confronted with the reality of impending birth I was left with a jittery midwife who advised that she had just completed her training and had never delivered a baby but everyone else was busy so she was it.......😩
Spot on 12 midday Ben arrived and I was elated - there is no comparable feeling in the world as seeing your offspring for the first time - your heart just bursts with pride and love and satisfaction that you managed to push out a new life.
Ben was born with a haemotoma which was meant to last for 18 months but in true Ben fashion disappeared after a few weeks - it probably happened because of his rapid entry into the world.
I also haemorrhaged but the doctor was still busy and so somehow or other I just basked in the beauty of my new baby , laying in a pool of blood until nature must have taken its course and I recovered without any complications - except for the fact that I walked like John Wayne for quite a few days.
Peta was born in Perth- another wonderful problem free pregnancy. Unfortunately I had to work at Kwinana high and it was a very difficult school. I had my fair share of problem classes and never one to put up with discomfit , I remember one lesson when she kicked so violently I was forced to sit down.
I think it was her saying - enough Mum - has no one told you to avoid stressful pregnancy!!!!
Gratefully I got to enjoy the last few weeks at home nesting.
Again when the 5th August arrived Peta had decided to hold out for a while.
4 days later during the night I felt the pains of labour and took myself to the back room to ease into labour before heading to the hospital. Eventually I remembered the speed of Ben's birth and alerted Dad that we needed to get Jean to babysit and get to Woodside.
At the hospital I had been scheduled to deliver 4 days earlier and the duty nurse actually almost refused us entry. Heavens knows what she thought - a heavily pregnant woman doubled up in pain clearly has no ulterior motives unless she suspected a bomb under my nightie!!!
Luckily we were let in, sent to the delivery lounge and 45 minutes later at 2 45 Peta arrived and as a nurse commented looked like 'a little doll'.
Her arrival was relatively uneventful too except that the nurse offered me gas and thinking AGAIN - that maybe this would take a while - I accepted to be then told sorry - 'we've run out...'
The look on their faces as they realised was priceless but it didn't matter - Peta arrived and again everything else except the wonder of new life is all that does matter.
I lost twins that would have been born on 4th June 1990. It was thought that they may have succumbed to the listeria virus as one was spontaneously aborted and the other miscarried and was probably the only low spot in an otherwise blessed period. I feel so much for people who lose babies - I mourned these babies for many months and would always burst into tears at the least mention of anything hormonal remembering the birthdate every year.
The highlight that came from this disaster was the impending arrival of Leigh. She salved the loss of the twins and brought a ray of sunshine with her promise.
I was soo careful with this pregnancy as there wasn't a lot of information about listeria at the time .
We were told to avoid every food from soft cheese to chicken and pate so erring on the side of caution I lived on dry tomato sandwiches 😀😩😩
Gratefully I had no need to work during this pregnancy so I was just a Mum who played with Ben and Peta and nested, getting ready for the impending birth, grateful for every passing day that the baby was growing and healthy. With each pregnancy the labours were easier and easier. I have no memory of Leigh's birth being in any way difficult. I wasn't offered pain relief and she entered the world without any fuss or fanfare. Maybe the fact that I could just be at home getting ready for her without any stress or worry made her feel more comfortable about entering this world. I had no doctor at any of the births and am totally in awe of and grateful for mid wives😘
Due 28th November Leigh arrived with gusto Dec 1st at 6 am and I left Woodside the following day.😀
I remember visiting Garden City on that Sunday and a lady I knew asked me if I wasn' t due to give birth.😩I was lucky to have a nurse visit regularly to check her progress.
A delightful baby I was beaming to know that she was perfect and a dead ringer for her Dad.
Sian was our big surprise - I thought I was experiencing premature menopause, only discovering the pregnancy in November when by then Dad had left the family home.I was just as excited at this news as all the other confirmations of pregnancy - my ever expanding family.
Again an effortless pregnancy only blighted by the fact I had to find a new home and relocate before her birth.
26 th January Jean and I moved into Doolette street a few short weeks before Sian's due date- 28th February.
I had a friend lined up to take me to hospital who rang regularly to check how I was feeling before she opened a bottle of wine!!😀🍸
The 7 th March we went to a children's party and left at 6 pm.
An hour later we were on the way to Woodside and at 8 pm Sian was born. I was told after going to the toilet that it appeared I might have an infection and so should have the birth induced. Never having any experience of intervention , when the process started I just went with it until the nurse commented - 'doesn't it hurt'??
I answered that it felt like a chainsaw in my stomach to which she answered that it could be moderated but too late - a few short minutes later feisty Sian arrived - again - all discomfit disappeared as the beauty of life was laid bare.
The only complication was the fact that my friend fainted and the medical staff treated her leaving me to chill until Sian decided to arrive.
Again the birth was so effortless the doctor suggested I go home THAT evening.
I declined and said I'd stay for breakfast.
I arrived to take the children to school promptly that Monday with baby in tow, having collected them on the Friday heavily pregnant - again another priceless 'expression' moment on the teacher's face 😳😳
As a young person I never thought I would be so blessed but my children have truly been my saving grace and I couldn't be more proud of each one of them.
Legacy is such a powerful inspiration- JEAN , my mother was such an integral part of their young life and made my job as a new solo Mum so easy. She was giving and would do anything in her power for them-she loved them unconditionally and I believe she saw them as a second chance to nurture. I learned so much from her about service and humility and I know that service and gratitude lives so strongly in their lives - she would be soooo proud.
I now sit back and reflect. I am not saying that single parenthood is easy but like everything else it is only a brief period in an otherwise short life span
There is no better privilege than parenthood and I am so grateful that the best part of my life has been marked by this wonderful blessing
Comments