My Blog

Swimmer swimmer .......chicken dinner

Anyone who follows my fb knows I don't swim 

You would have seen that brilliant pic of Ben paddling me out on a Sup board at Coogee with me clinging on for grim death in shallow water but grateful to be conquering a fear

What few realise is that as a young person I conquered many demons 

I learned to bare foot water ski

I went out fishing regularly in a boat on the Dampier Archipelago

I took high school kids canoeing in the ocean

I kayaked in the waters of South Stradbroke Island

No body of water restricted me for which I am most grateful

Fear is learned

I was such a worry wart as a young mother as I had read too much and was paranoid about everything from sunburn to global pandemics which is partly why I am so excited about my grandchild - I can breathe a sigh of relief and know the world isn't out to wreak havoc on the new life.

A lot of people tell me that they avoid the news but as part of the generation which feels the need to be informed I always read the paper and watch the news. Thing is there is soooooo many news outlets available that the world can become a very scary place.

The news used to be a way to discover the rest of the world now it seems to be a way of distrusting anything we don't know or undestand.

The cyber highway has really hyped up global paranoia 

Overtime we hear stories and heed warnings until we convince ourselves that it is best to avoid trying something new as it will result in disaster.

Instead of adventure being a joy it has become for some a risk too harzardous to attempt.

Michael Moore makes some good points about the dangers of fear and how we can quickly come from a place motivated by fear. We fear the unknown and we respond by putting up walls, taking up arms and basically living in a siege mentality.

I am upset by the fact that swimming now scares me.

I hope to overcome it and stop seeing rips, deadly currents, sharks and pestilence everytime I look at the ocean - how much better to see it for a beautiful symbol of freedom and life.

I want to go back to that person who gave it a go

I remember how exciting and exhilarating it was to try new things and love the memories they make.

#FalseEvidenceAppearingReal

Been a while...better

It's been a while since I wrote a blog

I decided that my writing was too verbose for an audience

then I decided I had exhausted topics

then I decided that I would be best to just journal.......

I have been plagued with self doubt my entire life but over the last month I hit an all time low😩

I have been getting on my own nerves as I have felt like I am waiting in limbo for something cartartic to hit me like a brick - just going through the motions, every day a chore when I questioned daily my purpose.

I went through the usual motions of reading and self development but still felt like I was treading water.

I kept saying to myself that when the year began in earnest I would kick myself up the butt and shake off the doldrums

Maybe after a lifetime of teaching I still respond to the start of the school year as when I kick into action.

Whatever -  I feel more activated and keen to reenergise my daily routine and my business.

I will admit that I have become discouraged with my business, fully believing in the product and the business but failing to fully believe in me and my ability to share a gift that has so blessed my life.

I started to reflect on a life where I could never afford such indulgence

Self belief wasn't an issue when I had to find money to pay bills or afford car repairs or raise four children - what the hell made me think I could be so flaccid in my endeavours now

I had an interesting chat with Ben Leigh and Taylah last night and as usual learned so much

I was reminded that I could be discouraged or indeed sad because experiencing the full gambit of emotions is a part of the roller coaster that is life.

Reluctant to admit to even myself the sluggishness of the last month I realised that I didn't want to seem ungrateful because if anyone in this world is grateful it is ME😀😀

I must be honest - this retirement lark isn't that easy

you work your whole life with a total sense of purpose- you are young and busy, mostly driven by urgency and necessity, not choice.

You come out the other end older and confused - what do you mean - I can do anything I like????

It feels like you enter a cave as a hatchling and after years of meandering around looking for an exit you see a light , exit the cave and then after the sigh of relief realise that you are not the same person who entered the cave and haven't a clue about what is on the other side.

Be grateful for the wonderful life of network marketing - it will allow you to always experiment life on your own terms and you will always be ready for the light at the end of the tunnel.

I spent a life full to over flowing with committees, sport, coaching, teaching and motherhood and now all of a sudden I can explore my genius ........

I am still not sure of what I am doing but I vow to blog every day and move forward not caring about perceived success but happy to just be trying.

I have always been so driven by hitting targets and managing performance I now have to create my own reality - I already feel so much better about my purpose

I know that I want my grandchild to learn from me before I am learning from him/her.

#buttkickimgtime #retirementwoes