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Crocodiles bite

I have never been a great decision maker -you know that guy who when confronted with two signs will go the wrong way😀😀

Over time I have learned to own my decisions, good and bad and have discovered this to be quite liberating as I can now determine the outcome no matter how bad the original decision

I remember when living in Kununurra in 1980 I had an argument with my then boyfriend and stormed off in a huff - any good tantrum needs a big gesture so with my car having work done I decided to hitch hike to a near by water hole to cool down - I think it may have been Ivanhoe - though popular was isolated.

It wasn't too long before a mini moke pulled up and a sturdy, happy looking individual offered me a lift. We hadn't gone too far when this robust looking gentleman started a conversation telling me he was a seasonal helicopter pilot doing crop dusting, that he came and went and his movements were pretty much his business. He proceeded to advise me of the dangers of hitchhiking and given the landscape I could easily disappear without a trace.

I quickly evaluated the situation and after dismissing the idea of throwing myself out of a speeding car onto a desolate red road my life flashed quickly before my eyes. I sweated , shook with fear and then experienced a calm that came from the knowledge that I had made this decision and I had enjoyed a pretty good 24 years and if this day should be my last - let it be quick.......

Clearly his words were cautionary as I am alive to tell the story but to this day I attempt to think through my options weighing up both sides and then decide -doesn't always work but my ownership of poor decisions has evolved.

Sometimes I get it right like the time I was advised not to sleep outside my car which was my custom as the crocodiles came out of the river at the Keep in NT and would drag you down into the river in the dead of night 

Though thinking it an urban myth, I did have a roll cage on my short wheel base land cruiser with a roof rack that accommodated an air mattress so I put my dog in the car and slept on the roof.

During the night I heard the distinctive eerie noise of what I can only describe as 'chirping' and looking down saw the scaly creatures indeed making their way out of the water - enough said 😩😩

Being an adult who has had to make important decisions on my own I have often needed to take a deep breath and much like someone who is abseiling down a steep cliff I just need to take the first step and hope I land safely

I am grateful life has allowed me to cock up on a regular basis and as it has made me face my decisions, own them and learn from them.

#decisions#kimberleyliving#cockupqueen

Nanutarra nightmare 😩

Many years ago when I worked in Paraburdoo , it was understandably the practice to leave the isolated Pilbara for all points south for Christmas.

My two friends Brian and Cheryl and I packed Brian's yellow Holden station wagon with every conceivable piece of luggage for a long summer holiday in Perth.

We jammed every little corner with bags and pillows and rugs until the Yellow Peril as it was affectionately known, was full to the brim with just enough room for Brian to see through the rear view mirror - not that that piece of vehicular equipment was that necessary on the long dirt road to civilisation.

We cheerfully set off one warm unto baking hot December day and ventured out onto the red dirt road with the daunting horizon blazing in the outbreak heat shimmering away in the distance .

We enjoyed our usual casual banter reflecting on the school year that had passed and mulling over the holiday to come.

We hadn't gone very far when the unmistakeable hiss of a flat tyre could be heard from the rear. Grudgingly Brian got out and moved the luggage to scratch around for the jack and tyre lever.

With Cheryl and I patiently watching and encouraging , the back breaking ordeal of changing a tyre on a seriously over weighted car was done - fevered brow mopped and rehydrated we were back in the road - when yet again that hisssssssssss

The other back tyre - who could believe it !?

With only one other spare, which was a luxury reserved for those who travelled the rocky ,  corrugated  roads of the north , Brian got out once again heaving a sigh at the thought of yet another workout.

We decided that we best unload the car this time as it may relieve some of the strain - disaster averted - job done we were back on the road.

It was a far distance to bitumenised road as dirt road was the first 100 kms out of Paraburdoo.

We tentatively repacked the car and hoped that we had enjoyed the last of our misadventures when ...........

TYRE NUMBER 3!!!!!!!!!

Devastated and without any real options at hand I recall us all looking at each with an expression of undiluted consternation - what to do - no spare tyre - and no sign of life for who knows how far.........

Next thing as we are looking like three puzzled guppies the heavens opened and the rains came - we had settled in a creek bed and it was all we could do to grab any pot,pan or container and bail out the water which was rising at an ever increasing rate. As suddenly as the rain started it finished as all we could do was ponder our run of bad luck and the forces of nature combined.

Our prayers were answered when a rickety old truck appeared on the horizon like some guardian angel of the outback. The driver agreed to tow us to dry land on a nearly hillock.

Well to add insult to injury but was becoming the expected, our well meaning saviour had managed to wreck the under garriage of the car and it appeared beyond repair, at least in the middle of nowhere!!

Nothing to be done except - go for help.

No one was stopping as everyone was heading down south and keen to avoid bad weather and missing the start of the next cricket test at WACA, were not about to stop.

Brian decided to head to Nanutarra , a road house some 100 kms away and see if he could get help, leaving Cheryl and I to hold the fort.

To make a long story short, Brian couldn't get help from Nanutarra and so had to head further to the next road house.

I drove the 20 hours from Pilbara to Perth many years after wards and NEVER stopped at Nanutarra preferring to carry spare jerry cans and have a spare petrol tank!!

Cheryl and I stopped on the side of the desolate Pilbara road for 3 days , playing 'I spy' to the sights of hills in one direction and the equivalent of tumbleweed in the other !!!!

Word had spread to nearby stations of our plight and we were brought sandwiches and water which was a much appreciated gift.

Eventually Brian returned with a tow truck and we made the long harrowing trip to Perth - a trip that should take a few days took over a week.

We have experienced changes over the last 50 years like no other in history 

This story for me illustrates one of the most compelling differences in society.

With no mobile phone to call for help and no other technology to speed our rescue we had to be patient , resourceful, grateful and resilient.

The mobile phone has become a constant call to action. It has helped increase a sense of urgency and busyness that has made life hectic.

I sometimes feel frustrated because I can't deal with all the demands of my technological life and am grateful that I enjoyed a time when I had to use my wits and stay calm  - not to say we should all spend time meditating on an isolated road but I am certainly grateful to know that I had the experience and actually revel in the fact I am still a bit of a techno dinosaur 😀👍

#pilbaralife

Routinenewtine😀

Have you ever heard someone comment that they can't afford insurance and a 'wiser' head respond that you can't NOT afford insurance!?!

Well that's how I feel about routine 😀

Lately I have been asked my secret to raising four children on my own on limited finances.

I don't believe I was any super hero - I just did what so many sole parents have to do when confronted with single parenthood - I just got on and did it!!

If you ever have the dubious honour of sharing a Kelly family dinner you'll be regaled with tales of my dubious parenting style and realise that they probably became such exceptional humans more despite me than because of me 😀😀

The one suggestion I do make when pressed for advice is - routine.

Routine is regular, reliable and consistent - everything that the turbulent maelstrom of life doesn't always encourage.

I always found that when confronted by my most challenging days when there was family sickness, broken down cars, house maintenance and the never ending stream of bills I would heave a sigh , do what I could but know that at the end of the day - meals would still be on the table, soccer training completed, homework done, Home and Away watched and bedtime much the same every night regardless of the disasters of the day.

Another day , another approach - a fresh start.

After a time I realised my decision making was improving , my debtors more sympathetic and life more calm because it was not constantly going through upheaval and changes.

Routine became my soft place to land and reflect.

It gave me courage and a belief that despite everything I want doing wrong I was getting some things right.

We became steeled to the fact that no matter what - we got up at 5 all summer to attend Saturday athletics and then have the mandatory barbecue and swim and then soccer the following day.

We learned to stop making excuses , knowing that disasters come and go but life rolls on wonderfully growing and evolving and blooming despite what is thrown at it.

I' d love to be more spontaneous - hence my spur of the moment trip to Las Vegas on my own because I have come to the realisation  that like everything routine can become stale and a crutch  that stops us stepping up to find new horizons .

I'll never abandon routine - it has been my rock and my companion.

I never start what I don't finish and even if I don't complete all things well, I learn a lot in the process - I learn to be adaptable and to grow and make a contribution of some kind and most importantly I learned to be trusted as someone who doesn't give up.

#transitionlifestyle

 

Perth - backwater baby.

A lot of my nearest and dearest know my reservations about Perth.

I appreciate its beauty , the wide open spaces, the peace and quiet , the freedom and the opportunities.

Having been blessed with visits to places in the world I never imagined I would see I now view Perth in a completely different way. I appreciate that it is a haven, a last Eden away from turmoils and troubles destroying other nations and somewhere that appears preferable to so many war torn countries where basic freedoms are only a dream

I remember many years ago speaking to my doctor who is Asian. I was my usual paranoid self , troubled by the outbreak of SARS - a pandemic sweeping the world and of concern to travellers at a time when my children were offered the opportunity to travel with soccer. Frustrated with maternal pleadings about precautions and options he sighed and told me that - if worse came to worse Australia would close its shores and shut everyone else out until the threat has passed. We were a giant island that could serve as a quarantine station.

The reality of our isolation hit me and I thought how ironic it was that a country so open to refugees and immigrants should even consider closing its borders and that this suggestion should be made by someone who himself had sought refuge here.

As time has gone on and I have gotten older my patience with Perth has been more and more tested.

An infrastructure that is always a work in progress regardless of the fact that we are blessed with residential space and an ever burgeoning population. You only need a map of our great state to know that all that space didn't just drop from the sky. I remember living in Kununurra in our far north when secession was a popular idea as the tyranny of distance and bureaucracy kept the Kimberly reaching its full tourist and commercial potential.

We construct freeways in constant need of upgrades, pull down buildings and build new uglier ones, close schools only to discover that we need to open and build new ones, pay homage to bell towers and infected water tourist attractions as if they are beacons in an otherwise dull landscape 

It's almost like we are a scared little boy who has his whole world ahead of him but takes staggering little steps , preferring to sit his room playing video games instead of going to the park meeting new friends and finding new adventures

The West Australian today published two articles - one announcing the unlikely chance of  Gay marriage being made legal - the other mandating that teachers ensure that Gay students are protected in school.

The irony is too delicious - sometimes the politics in this state reminds of Toytown and Noddy the Premier.

We are a state with the ideal opportunity to enjoy freedoms - not just of speech and religion but of choice. We are not confronted by conflict, we embrace other cultures - how we can' t invite them into a liberated, freethinking , inclusive community beats me!!

Why do we revel in this notion of being a backwater?

Why do we not use our isolation to screen ourselves from the rest of the world and do what others are too scare to even attempt!?

You only need to live on the West coast and travel to the rest of the world to appreciate the isolation.

Geographical isolation is quaint and desirable for some - philsophical isolation is crippling as it stops us from being the real place of refuge from political and religious constraint suffered by those  of the world that see Perth as 'ideal'.

Fun runs

Well it's that time of the year again - City to Surf

It's when 55 000 of your closest running mates get together to conquer St George's terrace and Bold Park hill to claim bragging rights and post numerous selfies on FB displaying medals and times and cheery smiles that were grimaces some two hours earlier.

I've decided not to compete this year.

Getting up at 5 30 to get the 6 15 train to Perth

Wearing shorts, singlet and a skimpy jumper shivering in the uncharacteristically cold Perth weather

Sitting on a train like Nelly no mates until three stations later similarly uncomfortable looking runners alight shivering, stretching and anticipating the trip home after the dreaded 12 kms is completed

Then the long walk to the start which recently has been at the Convention centre where we are herded in waves until it is time to hit the street - at least this is a bonus as we can use the toilet the numerous times we need to pee instead of the wonderfully endearing porter potties seen on route

I have always managed to find a kindred spirit but it is an event that is more about character building than fitness friendship or fundraising.

You actually spend more time running the gauntlet of public transport , prams and walkers than running - I swear in the past I have run 15 kms ducking and weaving the many and varied obstacles of a Perth fun run on its congested streets, fraught with the occasional road works and  potholes. My whinge of choice has always been the Walkers - that wonderful group of individuals who form groups united by either their shared parenthood or the fact they have all been out on the town the night before and feel the need to share tales of lost love and too many cocktails.

You do feel such a wave so exhilaration after you reach City Beach - much like Hillary conquering Everest and is well worth the experience.

It has helped me conquer so much more than aching knees climbing challenging inclines. It has made me stretch myself and conquer all the limitations I had put on myself when it came to crowds , running and doing stuff on my own.

I still do fun runs - I don't feel the need to do C2S this year - I have nothing to prove - I don't need to keep conquering the same mountains - there are new challenges to face and new limits to test and this year I will just have to enjoy everyone else's FB victories 😀😀😀😀

 

 

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Sentimental journey

I came home today to the sight of a "for sale" sign on my front lawn

Not a prank - not unexpected 

My reaction was unexpected. I had made the decision to sell my home of 23 years as part of my voyage into the unknown and following the feng shui theory of uncluttering life and moving forward

This home represented so much - freedom, independence and the home I had raised my four children.

It was more than a house, more than a home - it was a symbol of struggle, achievement and courage in the face of adversity and had come to represent all my achievements but had also become my refuge and a place to hide and revel in memories and the past.

As you age you become a little less adventurous a little less inclined to seek challenges - you like comfort and sometimes solace and quiet from a world that at times has seemed harsh. 

I love New York - it has all the icons of things that I knew growing up watching those old black and white movies every Saturday afternoon - Times Square, Rockefeller centre, Grand central station, shoe shine boys and other and sundry familiar images and stories. Perth is still a work in progress - buildings topple regularly as Perth attempts to invent and reinvent itself continually.

i seem to need the solidarity of consistency as I get older - the comfort of knowing that some things never change when all around me in Perth - my childhood home, school, places of recreation, regularly disappear. I am bothered by the idea that I am following that trend and disposing of a home that has meant so much to me and wonder if I am doing the right thing.

It has seen better days and is in need of repair and when sold will be levelled for several dwellings which makes it an investment opportunity and a chance for me to help the children who have done so much for me and for whom I hope to build a legacy. At the same time it is structurally sound and is comfortable enough for my needs - do I move on like the society I have come to mistrust or do I see it as a chance to life a fuller life that is richer and open to risk and challenges of the unknown.

I know things are not memories but this house has also bridged a massive gap for me personally.

Pre Doolette street I was younger, better looking , creative and spirited now I am significantly more tarnished by the years and not quite sure of who I am or where I am going so Doolette street has become  a safe refuge

I' m sure a lot of people wonder why buying and selling homes is such an issue when for many it is part of the rich fabric of life - evolving and improving and aspiring to bigger and better things and places.

blogging for me will give clarity - maybe not for readers but it will help my addled, confused mind see things clearer.

A new start

This is a new venture for me and it comes at a time when I am confronted by new challenges and transitions. Travel, retirement, selling stuff and starting a new business.

I have discovered vulnerability which is new for me - the ultimate control freak 😜

Faced with new and varied decisions and situations I felt a degree of 'butterflies in the stomach' and couldn't quite figure out how after years of facing obstacles face on I now feel anxious and uncertain.

I thought I had learned to quell anxiety having worked on controlling my thoughts and relishing the new calm that comes from seeing things from a new perspective unfettered by sweaty palms and tightening breaths and other crippling symptoms of anxiety.

Blessed with a life that I only ever dreamed of I started to question just how far I had come when just the mention of doing something different felt like a massive weight.

I have always been a thinker but not one for necessarily sharing my thoughts so blogging seemed a great option as after thinking I like writing.

So after thinking I realised that I am not really anxious about the newness in my life I am relating BIG decisions to a time when BIG decisions were equated to problems and insurmountable issues.

It wasn't that long ago that buying a new car meant so much upheaval - finances being the major one.A new car didn't mean excitement it meant worry over finances and how to keep it on the road - insurance , petrol, maintenance and that anxiety just kept growing.

I am not anxious I realise - I just equate big decisions with financial uncertainty and stress and once I figured that out and realised I wasn't feeling anxious just reacting to a conditioned response I calmed down and thought calmly and clearly making better decisions when not driven by fear and anxiety.

We are not going to go anywhere when we are always motivated by fear - that is easy to say 

It is important to realise when fear is unreasonable and crippling - let's face it - we only really learn and grow when we overcome what at first looks tricky otherwise we'd all still be riding tricycles 😀😀

I' m not sure how well this reads - hopefully I'll get better - my challenge is to translate my thoughts into something someone will want to read.

This is a big moment for me - realising that conditioned responses control a lot of my behaviour and much like when we are sick and the doctor tells us the ailment we feel better - so do I 😀😀